Just in case you don’t recognize this, it’s a combo hoof pick and wine opener.  I saw it advertised in the latest issue of Dressage Today.

This may be what everyone has always wanted, but I sure hope not, as that would make me feel even less enthusiastic about the taste of the general populace.

It’s not that I’m against practicality.  Or for that matter, indulgence.  Arguably, just having horses is an indulgence.  It’s certainly not practical, as any horseman will be forced to admit.  Yes, even you trainers.

I know I’m not the only one who doesn’t want to think about the crud in my horse’s hooves while I’m about to open a bottle of wine.  In fact, I had friends over the other night who agree with me, so I’m sure there are at least three of us.  I had to show this thing to him because he’s a wine distributer and a horse lover.  His reaction tells me that this is not going to be his gift of choice for clients this year.

His wife, who is as charming and smart as he is, said it reminded her of those sandals that have a beer opener embedded in the sole.  Did you know those existed as well?  No?  Well, sorry to pass along that knowledge, but you know what they say, misery loves company.

I’m sure either one of these misguided attempts at product development would make a decent gag gift but please, don’t get me one for Christmas.  Or your friend.  Or your trainer.  I’m sure they’d prefer another pair of socks.