I’m not a tailgater and I don’t like being tailgated.  Years ago, when a car would come up on my tail, I’d slow down in an attempt to get the other driver to back off.  It never worked.

My then-husband bought a GMC Typhoon.  Whenever someone came up on his tail, he’d accelerate and say “eat my dust.”  His attempt to get the other driver to back off always worked.

I assumed it worked for him because the Typhoon was just so fast.  But one day, I decided to try the same maneuver in my VW Cabriolet.  It worked, where my slowing down never had.

Sometimes, we just have to try something different.  Even if we think that it can’t work, because what we’ve been doing should work and will, if we just try hard enough or long enough.

At the Equine Affaire, Tina Konyot got on a young horse who didn’t want to completely accept the leg or the contact.  The horse fought.  Tina was persistant.  The horse continued to fight.  Tina insisted.  The discussion didn’t go on long, maybe seven minutes or so.

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Lots of trainers talk about how they’re “all about the horse,” but the reality is rarely in accordance with the promise.  At the highest levels of the sport, it becomes harder and harder to put the horse’s needs first, as the demands on the horse increase along with the rider’s ambition.

Nonetheless, for Tina Konyot, the second highest ranking dressage rider in the US, the horse does come first.  I wrote about it in an earlier post.  She made the point again last weekend, in one of her clinics at the Equine Affaire, saying “keeping him [the horse] happy and comfortable through the levels of his training is the most important thing.”

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Last November, “hot mess” was one of the Urban Dictionary‘s Words of the Day (I acknowledge that there’s a problem here, since “hot mess” is a phrase not a word, but it’s the Urban Dictionary, after all).  Here is the UD’s definition of this catchy phrase:

“When one’s thoughts or appearance are in a state of disarray but they maintain an undeniable attractiveness or beauty.”

I wish the phrase “hot mess” had been around when I was riding a lot of off-the-track thoroughbreds, since that community of live-cover-only offspring has more than its fair share of hot messes.  Before you get upset, let me make it clear:  I like a hot mess.

If I had to redefine the phrase as it applies in the horse world, I’d reword it as follows:

When a horse’s behavior or performance is in a state of disarray but he or she maintains an undeniable attractiveness or potential.

I like hot horses because training them to be “hot off the leg” is easy (hot=hot). You’ve got “forward” built in (for more on this, see my post of September 20th, “Forward – Say what?”). Expressiveness, and even brilliance, often come gratis with the hot horse.

But hot horses can also be a pain in the patootie.  (The Urban Dictionary defines “patootie” as “a nice word usually substituted for butt or ass.”)  Being a pain in the patootie manifests itself not only as rushing, bolting, studly neck-shaking, and playfully bucking, but all manner of shenanigans.  (Since we’re busy using off-label definitions, we might as well use off-label derivations as well, since the OED has nothing to say about shenanigans, but the Encyclopedia of Word and Phrase Origins says that the word’s likely origin is the Irish sionnachuighim — “I play the fox” or “I play tricks”).

If you’ve ever ridden a hot horse, you’ve heard the phrase “I play tricks” right through your saddle, I’m sure.  So what to do about the hot horse’s shenanigans?  I have a top ten list.

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For those unfamiliar with this acronym, BNT = Big Name Trainer.  OMG, you didn’t know that?  I would be ROFLMAO if it weren’t for the fact that I never use that “phrase” — even though it now takes up only 7 characters instead of 33.

I have a lot of respect for BNTs.  It’s not easy to earn the moniker.  It takes ability and talent — even if, in some cases, the talent is greater for self-promotion than anything else.

If I have the opportunity, I seek out BNTs of all disciplines wherever they may be.  I read their books, watch their videos, go to their clinics and take lessons from them if I can.

Some have lived up to their esteemed reputations, and are as good at teaching as they are at riding — Ingrid Klimke and Jimmy Wofford come to mind (is it purely coincidence that they are both eventers, or is it something about teaching horses many different things that makes them so good at teaching people?).

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This morning, my Yankee-Irish horsewhispering boyfriend read me something from one of Pete Ramey‘s books while we drank our Lyons tea (“Refresh and Revive!”).

Pete suggested that before trimming, it’s important to find a place for the horse to stand where he feels comfortable…and to find that place on the horse’s body that makes his lip stick out two inches when you scratch it.

Just another way of setting up your horse for success.

While I don’t put the horse’s pleasure before my own, I think a horse that’s set up for success performs best, which consequently makes for happier horses and riders.

If you want your horse to perform well under saddle, there are lots of things you can do to set him up for success, and that starts on the ground.  It starts with the mega issues like enough turnout, a balanced diet, regular veterinary care, and proper tack that fits properly.  Keep your eyes open and put your hands all over your horse whenever you can, so you can catch any health issues as soon as they appear.  Know your horse, and you’ll often get a sense when something isn’t right.

Then there’s under saddle.  There are three things that I think are most important when setting up your horse up for success:

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While I admire the Dixon Oval at Devon, there’s nothing like a corner for teaching a horse.

It’s a place where you can help a horse learn to bend, learn to engage the inside hind leg, learn to maintain rhythm and tempo and impulsion, and learn balance.

It’s a place where riders can learn about the outside rein, the sometimes forgotten indirect rein, their own straightness, timing and feel.

It’s a place where horses can learn how to coordinate their front and hind ends and where riders can learn to coordinate their aids, and ride the hind end of their horses.

It’s a place where the holes in your horse’s training — or your riding — really show.

As it is with shoulder-in, it takes a while for horses and riders to be able to make their best corners.  But it’s something to start working on as soon as the basics of go-whoa-turn are in place.  It’s nice to know that if you do any traditional work in hand or groundwork that involves displacing your horse’s hindquarters, you’ve already introduced corners.

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While the definition of a Baucherist may depend on who you talk to, the most recognizable cornerstone of Baucher’s philosophy is “hand without leg and leg without hand.”

In certain circles (of folks not flatwork), the very name Baucher will stir up controversy, as it has for a hundred years or so.  That’s what happens when you make a big deal out of what you believe (Baucher’s First Method) and then change your mind later (Baucher’s Second Method).  Just ask David Stockman, the Reagan Budget Guru turned Liberal Pundit.

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No, it’s not an Oral Rehydration Solution or Off Road Service for your trailer or, God forbid, The Office of Regulatory Spending (you know how I feel about that if you’ve read this).  No, ORS is simply the One Rein Stop.  Except there’s nothing simple about it.

If you have a background in Western riding or training or you’ve attended a Cowboy Clinic or bought a DVD from any half-pint wearing a hat that’s measured in gallons, you’ve no doubt encountered the One Rein Stop. It’s the magic technique that promises to keep you safe and in control when the manure hits the fan.

I have to confess that, as sensible as it all sounds, I sense the unspoken in the premise, and that has always turned me off to the technique. Frankly, the emphasis on safe and in control sounds to me like a solution for scared and ineffective.  I’ve always thought that the One Rein Stop was a crude tool for people who couldn’t ride.  It was certainly one I didn’t need, even though I’ve ridden my share of rank horses and even had a rogue to call my own.

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I promised to fill you in on the Buck Brannaman clinic when I could.  I’m laptopless (as I type this, I find that it appears surprisingly racy), but I’ve gotten access to a friend’s computer for a quick post.

Buck shared with us today something that Ray Hunt told him, years ago, “You need to do less sooner; you’re always doing too much, late.”

What a wonderful, down-to-earth way to sum up timing and tact.

There has been an incredible depth of wonderful, down-to-earth teaching this weekend, and I’m looking forward to sharing the highlights with you this coming week.

Buck working Terry & her horse (the cow)

Thanks to Buck, I’m also looking forward to working cows.  In preparation, based on this afternoon’s demonstration, I need to find a riding buddy and his or her horse who are willing to pretend to be a cow. I promise to trade off and be a cow, too, along with my Oldenburg.

Any volunteers?