For the wise man looks into space…and knows there are no limited dimensions.

The wise words of Lao Tzu apply not only to outer space but also to the personal space we want with our horses.  There is no absolute answer to the question of what personal space is appropriate, because, of course and as usual, it all depends on the horse.

I have to thank one of my readers, Net, for raising this interesting topic in her comment on my Relapses post, which followed on my Lovely Manners post. Here is an excerpt from her comment:

“…I now allow him to cuddle…To me, he’s still being respectful – he is not allowed to push me and knows this…Some people, though, think I’m a fool and this is bad behavior to allow.  Given he still walks properly, doesn’t shove into me, and respects my authority I tend to disagree…”

If you want to read Net’s comment in full, simply click on the comments link above the Relapses post.  In her comment, Net asked me what I thought, knowing full well, I’m sure, that I would have lots to say.  I’m not going to disappoint her.

Let’s start by throwing some briquets on the grill (it’s grilling season, after all):  I find it interesting that aside from professionals who assist horse owners with handling problems, it is often those people who choose to have little personal connection with their horses (aside from riding) — who focus on the importance of personal space.

Personal space isn’t an issue for these two New Forest Ponies. Photo by Jim Champion

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Last week, I wrote about the new horse’s lovely manners.  Specifically, I stated:

Yesterday and today (I can’t guarantee tomorrow, but I have a good feeling about it), the new horse demonstrated lovely manners.

Let’s talk about the tomorrow part.  That was the part that hadn’t arrived yet at the time I wrote my blog post.

I did have a good feeling about tomorrow, which is now several yesterdays ago.  Good feelings are good to have, of course, but they don’t determine the outcome of anything.  Nor do negative feelings, all New Age beliefs aside. Things happen.  We don’t control them.  We can influence them, but we are only one, small influence in a greater cosmos full of other influences, large and small.  If that were not the case, who’s to say that Bob in Wichita, if he’s really concentrating on a certain outcome, isn’t the one determining your tomorrow?

All that aside, the new horse had a small relapse (actually, he had two sequential relapses) in the lovely manners department.

My Yankee-Irish horsewhispering boyfriend hadn’t yet had his rotator cuff surgery, so he was helping me.  We discussed the plan in a few words, as we do when we’re training.  I would take the new horse and he would take my retired Thoroughbred.  Even though they were late going out, it would be straight out to the paddock, no grass.

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Manners used to matter.  And they still do in certain circles (halter classes and cotillions).

I like the horses I own and work with to have good manners, but I don’t expect perfect manners.  There are some horses who need to express themselves and sometimes that translates into less than perfect manners.  The same is true of people.  To be perfectly polite you must be inauthentic, and that’s not a good trade in my book, with people or horses.

Those who have been following my blog for some time know that I have a horse who is happy to express himself rather rudely and with whom pressure-release techniques or reprimands are largely ineffective. I’ve been clicker training him despite the fact that my least favorite new obligation is making sure that I have treats in my pockets.

This is especially challenging when what I’m wearing doesn’t have pockets. They don’t tell you that you’ll need a new wardrobe when you start clicker-training or that you’ll have to wear an apron all day as if you were a Cold War housewife or one of those dreadful fanny packs (I don’t know what was worse, the design or the name) that were once so popular with foreign tourists in big American cities.

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