“Good boy!“
“Good girl!“
There we have the two (or three) most important words for horsemen (and horsewomen).
If, when your horse does something well, you say “good boy” or “good girl,” you’ll find your horse not only happy at being good but becoming better. Maybe even eventually, his or her best.
Do you give your best to someone who doesn’t say anything when you try? I don’t. Maybe that’s a weakness in my character, but it’s a weakness I share with the horses.
Naturally, when you say it you have to mean it. Your tone is important. But you don’t have to be boring. You can vary what you say.
“That’s a good girl!”
“What a good girl!”
“You’re a very good girl.”
“You are such a good girl.”
“Good, good girl!”
I’ve ridden with trainers who told me not to make a big deal about something that wasn’t a big deal, and not to praise unless something is truly praiseworthy. I’ve worked with natural horsemanship trainers, too, who believe that silence is golden.
After trying it their way, I now do it my way. I like it a lot better, and so do the horses.
If you’re training your horse (and if you’re riding or handling horses, you’re a trainer whether you like it or not), it’s your job to let your horse know that he or she is on the right track. Even if that means praising lavishly for something that’s only a tiny bit better than it was the last time.
Captain Etienne Beudant knew the secret, too, and he said it much better than I can:
“Ask for much, be content with little, and reward often.”
Reflections on Riding 
Hee hee, your quotes could have been taken verbatim from my last ride on Gwen. Though I’m wondering if maybe I don’t praise Coriander enough…
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Well you know from working with Dini, (I think it’s because he is so very sensitive) that he understands praise and works much better with a constant reinforcement.
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Yes, constant reinforcement is what it sometimes is…or feels like! I also think if you have to correct, it’s nice to reinforce the good that follows with immediate praise. Good boy! Good girl!
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Don’t take it the wrong way if I say, “Good post”!!
I had a very difficult ride today, the boy was very, very good and took confidence from being told so. We had to deal with a very “bad” horse who escaped from his field and tried to join our outing! Having read your recent posts on the seat has given me new ideas to work on. Thank you :-}
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Oh no, that sounds too exciting. I don’t care for those rides, but they do build confidence. It sounds like you survived, and the next time there’s an escape, it will be “old hat.” Are you going to tell the tale on your blog?
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Yes, it turned into a bit of a saga, so I just posted it. But I do get annoyed that there are good rides I have to avoid because some horseowners are so hopeless at sensible fencing; though of course there are always some uncontainable escapees! I don’t think I’d ever feel able to be totally on top of a breakout, but the more confidence you have in your own horse, the better the chances…. (I just refuse to get hospitalised again, but at least I know where my psoas are now!)
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Oh, I enjoyed the story! What an adventure. The Dobermans would have me more worried than the equine escapees. But it sounds like you and Pom kept your cool (even with the steam rising from his coat). It sounds like he’s just as beautiful on the inside as he is on the outside.
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Aah, what a nice thing to say – I just caught him on film in his “butter wouldn’t melt” mode….But seriously, dogs (as long as they’re not on the other side of a steep drop) every home has one here, many of them for hunting wild boar; I’ve found they are usually terrified of a horse turned towards and bearing down on them. I got the hang of this with Aly, (my spooky old SF) over the years, because even a Chihuaha used to give him a fright, which somewhat hampered our rides. Eventually it empowered him to see the dogs back down! He even got brave enough to chase off some wild boar piglets from his field years ago. I do love most dogs and know they’re just protecting the master’s territory, but you don’t need them snapping at your heels! Any tips for the equines though? I just tried to talk calmly and firmly to the Merens whilst looking out for anyone to help or somewhere to shut him in. My main fear was a stampeding, flight situation, especially if the other two got out…..
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It sounds like you handled it beautifully and were successful. Based on your description, these are things that come to mind which might help if you find yourself in a similar situation:
1. Remember to breathe. That will help calm you and your horse.
2. Sit deeply and try to envelop your saddle but don’t grip with legs or hands.
3. If your horse responds to a calming, focusing word and you can speak it with a calm tone of voice, do so. I use a drawn-out “easy,” on the lunge and “you’re fine,” to reassure, but use whatever words work for you and your horse (I know you have a selection of languages from which to choose…).
4. Francisco de Braganza taught me this trick with his Lusitano stallions in Portugal — put a hand half-way up the crest of the neck (I’ve seen Bettina Drummond do this as well). Press lightly, wait for a response, then release. I bet this works with your Andalusian.
5. If you know how to do a proper one-rein stop, it’s a nice thing to have in your toolbox (see my post “ORS”).
6. Pretend the other horse is not there and keep your horse focused on you by making requests and keeping him busy. Lateral work is great for this as are figures.
7. Depending on your “read” of the other horse, it might be helpful simply to pretend that you’re ponying him, even if he’s not attached to you!
8. When things are dangerous or might get dangerous, some people are more comfortable on the ground; others in the saddle. Know that you have a choice.
Perhaps some of my other readers will have additional suggestions. Anyone?
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Thank you SO much Katie, that was a wonderfully comprehensive reply. Some things I realise I’m doing instinctively…. “dou..u..u..cement” (gently) is a key word/mantra which works for us. But your further (and all) points are really interesting. Re No4, Pom is very cresty and my way in to making friends when he was such a difficult newcomer to me was his sweet itch treatment, mane and tail, which he still loves, so I’m keen to try that touch. (Is the response a relaxation/dropping of the neck?) I need to learn about ORS. And yes, I think I was lucky that the other horse in this case was a follower, because Pom and I carried on and we attempted to tow him in our wake (if a bit erratically!) Luckily for us, I think our novelty wore off in the face of regaining his field companions.
Aargh – I didn’t dare dismount as my left leg is still weak and I need a mounting block, I used to dismount in times of trouble, but at the moment I’m more in control of Pom on top! Really kind of you to give me your considered answer – always open to listen..
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Yes, there is a relaxation response in the neck to the hand half-way up the crest. It’s not necessarily a dropping of the neck, but it may include one and it varies by horse (and works even with other breeds than the Lusitano and Andalusian). I think of the response as a “centering,” as if the psychological balance is restored with this touch, even if there is not an immediately perceptible change in the physical balance of the horse.
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I have to add — It’s been so long since I’ve spoken or read French, that I first thought you said, gently, to your horse, “Do you cement?” While one part of my brain tried to figure out why you would address your horse as a stonemason, the other part of my brain figured it out. It’s not the way you wrote it, it’s me, but it struck me as so funny, I had to share it. Since I occasionally sing to my horse in French, I may just adopt this word that sounds so soothing, much more so than my “you’re fine.”
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Sorry I missed your last comments, I hadn’t noticed how incredibly late it was and just had to get to bed. I was talking about your recommendations with my husband and he made an interesting comment re mid-crest being the point stallions grab to subdue mares, and also where Pom and Pie make for in their mock battles (I suspect both are rigs, I do know a lot of Iberian stallions are gelded after being imported to France). If you’re reviving your spoken French, (btw what are you singing? Piaf? Françoise Hardy? opera?) “Aaaaallez!” is such a hearty motivator – my poor horses, no wonder they get confused! A bientôt!
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Yes, that is a good observation by your husband. It is a place of significance for the horse.
I wish I could sing opera…I love Piaf…but what I sing is more along the lines of what we used to call “French ya ya” music when I was a teenager in Switzerland — light and sweet and silly songs of my own creating.
With “Aaaallez,” you handed me a madeleine, because I can hear it in my mind, perhaps from those riding instructors so long ago, who also spoke French.
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Followed up your refs. to ORS and realise I now need English translations (having had a bolter for a first pony, the practice, if not the term is well ingrained) so feel very stupid! Trust you spent more of your teenage Swiss Miss time singing and riding than reading Proust – ah, let them eat cake indeed!
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Interesting, I never knew about that point on the neck. I’ll have to remember that for Gwen.
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